Stockholm Syndrome: CrossFit Style

A few weeks ago, I went into work wearing a dress that fell to just above my knees and bore my collar bones, clearly displaying the bruises I had sustained earlier in the week from heavy cleaning (obvi, I'm talking about weightlifting here, not household cleaning, but if either of my parents were to read this blog, they'd have no clue what I just said).  In addition to those battle wounds, my dress allowed enough leg to show that anyone looking could see the rope burn scars along with my accidental deadlifting mishaps on both my shins.

"Seeing all of your scars doesn't make me want to ever try CrossFit...."

That's what the gals at the front desk of my workplace say to me...more than once a week. My response? "BUT IT'S SO FUN!!! YOU SHOULD TRY IT!!" It's like I'm proud of looking like a battered woman that gets repeatedly abused, yet continues to crawl back to the deadbeat guy (no offense to anyone out there).

So why the hell do we CrossFitters keep going back?

It's kind of like Stockholm Syndrome. In 1973, there was a crazy bank robbery that lasted for days in Stockholm, Sweden where the people who were held hostage during that time developed an attachment to their captors. The attachment was so strong that some of the hostages actually defended those that held them hostage and even rejected assistance from the government. This psychological weirdness became known as Stockholm Syndrome... which totally describes how CrossFit is...seriously.

Let's think about this.

According to the Medical Dictionary, there are 3 main causes for Stolkholm Syndrome:

1. The crisis situation lasts for several days, or even longer. Uh, well, WODs last for several days, and even longer... At least they seem like it when you've got a 20 minute AMRAP named Cindy who doesn't give a rat's ass that your hand just ripped and you've still got 17 minutes to go. If you can't call that a crisis, I don't even want to know you. 
2. The hostage takers remain in contact with the hostages. That is, the hostages are not placed in separate rooms. Remaining in contact: It's not like you go to a CrossFit box and not know what you're about to do. You know you've looked that WOD up on the box's website the previous night and were slightly neurotic about it as you sat there for a good 30 minutes continuously refreshing the web browser to see if the WOD was posted.  And separate rooms? We're a freakin' cult according to all the normie's out there! Why would we ever be in a separate room working out????
3. The hostage takers show some kindness toward the hostages or at least refrain from harming them. WHOA HO HOOOO. THIS IS A GOOD ONE. CrossFit (our hostage taker, if you haven't made that connection by now) is the ultimate captor when it comes to showing SOME kindness toward the hostages (us...). We all have those skills in our wheelhouse. And every day, we pray that the WOD includes something we're good at. We go through day after day after day just waiting for the website to read: 

1RFT

1 Air Squat

1 Box Jump (6")

1 Broad Jump (12")

...Wait, what?  Okay, but seriously. We wait and wait and wait for that one day of stuff we're really good at, but the price for it? Weeks of doing stuff we SUCK AT! How is that normal for a person?!

Stockholm Syndrome may describe many of those  cases out there where some serious crimes and kidnappings have taken place, but according to the FBI, only about 27% of all those that have been kidnapped actually develop Stockholm Syndrome. That's 73% of all victims that are pretty much okay (disregard my insensitivity here, I'm trying to prove a point). When it comes to CrossFit, Stockholm Syndrome pretty much affects about 100% of all cases....I'm just saying. 

CrossFitters have a weird sense of loyalty to this sport- nay, this way of life. It drives us to engage in weird behavior, develop even weirder habits, and get labeled "crazy". But among all of this, we continue to return to the box. We continue to allow ourselves to be subjected to abuse in the form of hand tears, bruised collar bones, and double under whip marks. It takes a physiologically ill person to do this willingly, which is why we should all just be diagnosed already: Stockholm Syndrome: CrossFit Style.